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The Authors Cafe - November 2009

The Bride Stripped Bare by Anonymous

November 22nd 2009 05:28
The bride Stripped Bare


The Bride Stripped Bare isn't a difficult read by any means. Told in "lessons" of 2-3 pages each the story moves along at a cracking pace. Opening with a wife and mother having gone missing and the manuscript discovered by our missing authors mother after her disappearance, the story takes us on a journey into the mind of a newly married 30-something and her sexual awakening.


Told in three sections, The Bride Stripped Bare opens in Marrakesh, on the authors honeymoon. Eager to experience new sights and sounds, she finds most of her honeymoon is spent by the pool as her some what boorish husband prefers to stay indoors and watch TV. During a sandstorm which pushes our bride into the Honeymoon Suite a half overheard conversation sets the scene for domestic mystery and betrayal.

A spanish scriptwriter is the catalyst for the second section of the book, and the teaching of sex to the virgin writer occupies great lurid passages that were rather uncomfortable to read on the train. I'm sure those passages and chapters would make a great how to manual for your average 16-17 year old who is experiencing those first sexual encounters but I found them more clinical than erotic and devoid of any real emotion. A lover betrayed and a love denied see's our heroine off for a gang bang in a hotel room with three strangers. I tried to think of a way to put that were it wasn't like a punch in the throat but that's how it comes out in the story and really, beyond another litany of self-hatred from the heroine it has no basis what is yet to come.


A husband and wife reconciled in the third and final chapter, with bygones being bygones and a husband who has finally figured out how to sexual satisfy his wife results in a pregnancy that see's our finally sexually aware heroine relegated to the position of the Madonna in her husbands eyes. The lack of sex between husband and wife opens old wounds and see's anger and allegations of continued cheating. While the husband is away, our nameless heroine takes off to Spain and one last fling with her now well experienced Spanish lover.

The Bride Stripped Bare is unapologetic in it's in your face language and graphic sexual content. The first time the un-named author swore I didn't blink an eye, however by the time our heroine is having graphic fantasies on her honeymoon about things I won't go into here I was blushing like a 16 year old virgin.

I was discussing this book with a friend of mine when I was reading it and I alternated between the book being more autobiographical than expected - if that's the case no wonder the author chose to remain anonymous - and that it was written by a man due to the fact the sexual content read like a Dear Playboy letter.

The bookending of the book, with the authors characters car being found abandoned at a cliff and the author and her baby son never to be seen again was absolutely redundant in the grand scheme of things. It just wasn't necessary. There is a such a strong narrative in this book that the whole mystery element of "Did she or didn't she jump with Post Partum Depression" detracts from the book and the storyline.

The Bride Stripped Bare is not the sort of book you'd give your Grandmother for Christmas. Actually on a recommendation of who to give this to for Christmas I can't really say.

All in all The Bride Stripped Bare by Anonymous is a book I have read that while enjoyable in parts just seems to try too hard with the shock tactics. Then again, as the book is purportedly written by a female for a female audience maybe I just missed the point of all the graphic talk of menstruation and giving up of personal power, and seducing the innocent to show how much fun corruption can be.

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Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

November 14th 2009 04:26
Unseen Academicals



Recently I chose to quit smoking. I also decided that as a congratulatory self-gift I would take $50 of the money I had saved by not smoking and buy myself a treat each month. My first month came and went and while walking through K-Mart I found the latest Terry Pratchett Discworld novel Unseen Academicals. The search for my first months treat was over.

Unseens Academicals is the 37th novel in the phenomenally successful DIscworld Series. This particular story sees us returning to Ankh-Morpork and Unseen University, so ably mismanaged by Archchancellor Ridcully.

It also sees a street rough game called foot-in-the-ball morphed by the Tyrant Vetinari into football - soccer to those of us who aren't in Europe and the UK.

Favourite characters abound including Ridcully, Rincewind, The Chest and a special guest appearance by His Grace, Sir Samuel Vimes. There are some new characters introduced in this novel that I hope to hear - see - more of. Trevor LIkely, the lad about town, Juliet, the beautiful if slightly slow kitchen hand, Glenda Sugarbean, Mistress of the NIght Kitchen, baker of pies - with crunchy pickle onions inside - and Mr Nutt who lives only to gain worth and not disappoint Her Ladyship.

Unseen Academicals is Terry Pratchett at his best. Discovering that in order to retain a donation the wizards of Unseen University must take part in a football match every 20 years, the rotund wizards gather together - with the help of Mr Nutt and Ponder Stibbons - a team of football players, to take on the best Ankh-Morpork has to offer. After all, it's tradition and traditions must be followed.

Throw in the invention of micromail and a tin can, and you have a great novel and a wonderful way to fill in the commute to work.

Unseen Academicals is fantastic. There are so many bits that made me laugh out loud I can't begin to describe them to you. If you are a fan of Pterry or know someone who is, make sure to add this book to your Christmas Present wish list.

Just watch out for Andy Shank.. he's a nutter.

Terry Pratchetts Unseen Academicals is available from all good book shops and department stores. And make sure to follow Terry on his twitter account here Terry Pratchett

'Ho, the Megapode!'
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Wicked by Gregory Maguire

November 1st 2009 11:30
Wicked by Gregory Maguire
Wicked Novel Cover


I finished Wicked by Gregory Maguire yesterday afternoon and I've spent a day trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to say about this novel. I still don't know 100% but we'll give it a go and see how it goes.

I'm going to begin by saying most of us know of Wicked as the multi-award winning Broadway Musical that burst onto the scene winning it's leading ladies Idina Menzel and Kirstin Chenworth Tony awards in 2004.

I picked up the book, a massive fan of the soundtrack of the musical and pleased the musical had finally made it to Sydney. As yet I still haven't seen the musical, but based on conversations with a friend of mine who has seen the show let me start by saying, the only thing the novel and the musical have in common is the title and the character names.

Wicked begins with the birth of the green-slkinned Elphaba, whose destiny is to grow into the Wicked Witch of the West. Spanning 38 years, we witness Elphaba as a new born, teenager, young woman in her 20's and finally as a woman of 38 whose dreams are shattered and lying around her in ashes edged with guilt.

As a child Elphaba, her unionist Minister father and sexually free mother leave Muchkinland and head to Quadling Country in order to convert the heathens into the service of the Unnamed God. It's in Quadling Country Elphaba's mother births her sister, Nessarose, whose destiny is to become the Wicked Witch of the East.

Section two opens in The Shiz, as 17 year old Elphaba arrives at Crag Hall and her room mate is the socially conscious, self-obsessed beauty queen Galinda. The death of a beloved professor, followed by the death of Galinda's Ama send the two heroines of the story onto their pathways to the story outcome we know so well.

It is in the second section of the book that see's Elphaba's political consciousness open and her believe in Animal Rights comes to the front and see's Elphaba run away from school to join the Animal Liberation Army in the underground of Emerald City. Five years later she runs into a school chum who soon becomes her lover. It is when Elphaba is on her way to assassinate an enemy of the Animals that the lover is murdered and Elphaba disappears into the safety of St Glinda's Maunts for 7 years.

Section 3, see's Elphaba re-emerge into the general populace, now with the tall black hat and multi-speed broomstick that are to become her trademark. With her is a foundling Liir, and along the way Kiamo Ko, the home of her dead lovers wife Elphaba collects bee's, crows, and a monkey that will give birth to the winged monkeys so famous in the Wizard of Oz.

The Elphaba of Gregory Maguires imagining isn't wicked. She is politically powered, fighting injustice where she see's it. She is a woman with convictions, who gives herself the title The Wicked Witch of the West in response to the Munchkinlanders feeling for her sister Nessarose, who uses the political upheaval in Oz to break Munchkinland free of the power and control of The Wizard of Oz. It is Nessarose, who is the witch in the family, covering her spells behind sanctimonious prayers to the Unnamed God. It is Nessarose in the novel who is the Wicked sister and Elphaba the sister wracked with guilt over the death of her lover.

Even Dorothy's triumphant "bucket of water" moment is nothing more than an accident. Actually I was quiet annoyed with the ending. Having spent 500-odd pages reading about Elphaba, growing to care for her and wish she'd just open up and let live happen to her for a change, I felt cheated when everyone and everything she loved turned on her or died because Dorothy had arrived at Kiamo Ko.

The novel of Wicked is part political commentary, part bodice ripper, and part human rights expose. I have to admit, I wasn't expecting the in-your-face sex and adultery I found in it's pages. The discovery of Elphaba's biological father is rather interesting. Fluid sexuality, unrequited love, meaningless, drug induced matings between characters of human and Animal persuasians, I have to say a broadway musical wouldn't have been the first thing I thought of when I read this book, and it explains why there are so many changes in the storyline between the two products.

If you've seen the musical, there are enough difference - everything - that you would be able to read this novel without an preconceived notions, and if you haven't seen the musical reading this book isn't going to give away the outcome, we already know Elphaba get's a bucket of water to the head. And that's all you'll know.

Gregory Maguire is the author of several novels based on classic children's stories including Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister and Mirror Mirror. For further information on Gregory's novels click here Gregory Maguire's Wesbite

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